Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Take Courage

Take Courage: November 9, 2016

Today is a difficult day.  And today I will not hide, or seek refuge in my bed.  I am taking my example from the generation of American Strivers and Women’s Leagues of that sharp time[1] in American history from 1900-1948.  I am also grounding deeply in my faith to find hope and strength. 
            The American Strivers experienced the hope of civic engagement during the Reconstruction of the South after the Civil War.  In numbers that have rarely happened again African Americans were elected to office.  The very center of oppression was beginning to crumble.  It is the Strivers who survived the ensuing oppression, rise of hate groups, and the rise of those groups to governmental power.  It is in this moment, in response to terror, a small multiracial group came together in Niagara New York (The Niagara Group) to create the NAACP.  They were not the only such group.  Many vital groups for uplift and justice came into being during this time.  It is these Strivers who worked hard to expose the “Red Record”[2] of systematic state supported lynching across these United States and campaigned for years to pass the National Anti-Lynching Bill (the Dyer Bill).   It is in their steadfast refusal to give up hope of legal redress that I find strength.  The Dyer Anti-Lynching bill never passed.  This fight was the training ground for the legal eagles to come who would pursue the goals of justice and civil rights into the future.  These Strivers had the moral endurance to push relentlessly for justice.  They also found the crazy courage to resist the obstacles of brutal retaliations and organized violence.
            It is in this sharp time that the organizing abilities of American Women’s Leagues (who had trained in the Abolitionist and Temperance Movements) pushed toward the victory of voting rights for women.  These “Iron Jawed”[3] women endured.  I find courage in the story of one of my great aunts Mildred.  She declared her intent to march in a parade for Women’s Suffrage.  Her father stated that if she did so she would be thrown out of the family.  She left to march in the parade.  Her shocked mother and sisters immediately asserted Mildred’s right to remain in the family.  They staked out a spot on the parade route so they could shout to Mildred to please come back home, she was welcome there.  Mildred went on to become a life long activist for peace and one of the early members of the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom.  If my great aunt could find the courage to risk her material comforts for a possibility…what holds me back?
            As a college student I was fascinated with the power of religions to give powerless people the strength to work for justice.  Although I have stepped away from and returned to my faith tradition over the years, I have come to realize that for me to live my faith I need to engage with it.  I have found the places from which I can draw strength and courage.  It is a certainty of engagement that I will be in dialogue with my faith.  This relationship shines light into my soul and gets me out of bed in the mornings.  During a recent church wide retreat on Undoing Racism one of the leaders reminded us that the work of undoing racism is similar to flossing.  It is a daily practice to get the gunk out of one’s system.  One needs a commitment to stay steady in the work that leaves us breathless.  Breathing is a radical act.
Our small steps add up to something greater.  As Pete Seeger used to say keep adding a teaspoon for justice on the scales of life.  It will make a difference.
            So today I will breathe, floss, put in a teaspoon for justice (tomorrow maybe a tablespoon), show up, and pray.  For tomorrow I will rise again.


[1] sharp time:  The Crucible by Arthur Miller
[2] The Red Record by Ida B. Wells(1895): a book documenting lynchings in the USA.
[3] Iron Jawed Angels: a movie about tough suffragettes

Thursday, September 22, 2011

How to move through Grief:  I think it might be an algebraic formula...or a recipe....

A lovely dinner at a friends' home featuring homemade Chocolate Pudding and Joke Telling (knock knock jokes are really funny)
Daily phone calls from Sister in Colorado
a Really Long Deep Discussion with Friend In Connecticut
Friends Who Amuse My Children For 36 Hours...so I can Host a Memorial Service
Going For Walks
Getting Outside.

Impediments & Obstacles

How To NOT Leave for A Semester Abroad. (from June 2010)

Some days I wonder if I was foolish to even attempt changing "the way things are" to organize a sabbatical semester SomeWhere Else.  The 1.8 weeks of intense debilitating sickness were terrifying, strangely prioritizing, and a time to appreciate the gifts of community.

I was dismayed to find myself so terribly sick the two weeks of the summer that the boys had extensive care (so that I could get the house packed and the trip organized).  After my first round of getting hydrated by IV at Urgent Care I was confident enough to ask for help from my friends.  It was so wonderful to receive all the care, help & kindnesses.  So many friends said, "Oh I didn't do anything."  or "It was such a little thing."  But every "little" thing was HUGE!  I couldn't do anything...so everything was a gift!  By the second IV at the ER (because Urgent Care had no idea why I wasn't getting better) Henri and I were getting very scared.  What was wrong?  Why wasn't I getting better?  The ER had no answers either just another IV.  This is when I decided I really really hate getting hydrated by IV.  I was also frustrated because I'd been drinking nasty chilled Pedialyte all week & I still got dehydrated!! 

Unfortunately/Fortunately
1.  Unfortunately I felt terrible.  I crawled off the guest room futon (could not get up to standing) to tell the boys to please be quiet because I was feeling so crappy.  I didn't make in very far.

Fortunately Henri decided I was seriously sick ---time for Urgent Care. 

2.  Unfortunately I got a messy "stick" for the first IV.   Because the stick was messym IV tech left the room and shut the door, Henri fainted on me.  I  screamed for help VERY loudly so that someone would come through the door.
Fortunately, 3 people came through the door, took care of Henri, helped me calm down and got the IV flowing.  Fortunately I felt better (but chillier) after 3 bags of fluid.

3.  Unfortunately, despite Pedialyte and the BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce & Toast) diet exclusively, I was commuting to the bathroom too much. Results:  stomach cramps,  weakness, having no energy...thinking the stairs were too much to handle.

4. a Gastroenterologist who wanted to have an intellectual discussion about how maybe I didn't have Celiac Disease when all I wanted to know was why I felt so crummy and was sick for so long.  I nearly cried during that appointment and; felt just emotionally wrecked at the end of it.

5. Urgent Care telling me to go to the ER because they had no idea what to do with me.
6. Spending a beautiful day (6 hours) in the ER.
7. Getting another IV rehydration.
8. Still felt awful.
9. Went to see Dr. but she wasn't in.  Met her Sensible Colleague instead.  Who said, "This has gone on long enough!  Time to pretend it is a parasite (giardia or such), get an antibiotic in you & get you back on your feet.  Call me if you still feel terrible."
10.  Took anti-biotic.  FELT BETTER!!!!!  All hail the Sensible Colleague!!!!!  Long may she reign!!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Grief

As "Queen of the Delayed Reaction" I've expected that my newer grief over my second grandmother's death would visit again.  The more grief visits,  the more I learn about myself.  With my grandmother, I've discovered profound waves of sadness crash over me.  I cry in public, I get overwhelmed emotionally, I have even less energy than normal for really anything.  Sometimes it is a raw physical lump in my throat.  Some weeks I plug the holes of sadness up with junky novels and episodes of legal dramas.  I did that for about 2 weeks to get through launching the kids into the new school year.  I wonder about it all.  Sure that was great coping for getting through those couple of weeks...but now I'm crying in public...as well as the privacy of my room. 

Sometimes when I am lying in bed wishing I had more energy to do and be in the world...I think about my Ideal Self.  Yes, my Ideal Self would be doing this, taking care of that, and being happily involved in the world around her.  My Ideal Self, however, is curled up in a corner of the bedroom crying quite noisily.  So being up here, in my room, feeling sad is where I need to be right now.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Pirate Queen

One of my friends is The Pirate Queen.  She has other avatars as well but when she is not at work, she is the Pirate Queen.  As the Pirate Queen she brings up her Pirates (two sons), makes sure they have swashbuckling lessons, attend the age-appropriate pirate schools, study pirate language, practice strewing/pillaging & wreacking havoc, fighting & wrassling.  But not even the Pirate Queen can do all this all the time. 

There Are Times When One Must Have A Rest Cure!! 

This week the Pirate Queen has traveled to England without her charges.  I am ever hopeful that there she may find respite & rest in Austen country.

Postal Address in NZ

Hello Everyone,
My friends tell me the internet access may be spotty until we move into our house at the end of August.  So I may not be able to get emails from everyone.  In case you want to communicate by traditional mail here is our address:
c/o Brady
43 Hanrahan St.
Ilam
Christchurch 8041
New Zealand

Monday, June 28, 2010

Fabulous Flowers of Summer


The Robin before me planted so many wonderful flowers which bloom in the hot & sticky days of summer.

 The blue Balloon Flowers are a family favorite.  I love to watch the flowers actually burst into blue blooms...the floral version of slow motion balloon popping.  In the photo you can see some of the greenish burgeoning buds.
The Lizard's Tongues (white droopy clusters) looks lovely next to ordinary day lilies.  They are marching into various parts of the yard---hurrah!















  
Southern writers speak truth when they describe summer's perfumed air.  Perhaps the humidity's function is to capture & distribute wafts of delightful aromas.  Gardenias are just amazing...their scent can fill a room.

One of my NC summer pleasures is to drive around at night, with the windows rolled catching scents of gardenia, honeysuckle and Magnolia Graniflora.

Blueberries and Peaches up next!